The night that started all this...

This first post is actually an email that I wrote to my sister at 00.54am after Episode 4 of Judith Lucy's Spiritual Journey (JLSJ). I couldn't sleep and I was going over and over some parts of the show including the part where she talked to an (ex)AFL footballer about why he did yoga, and seeing him at the beach doing Sun Salutation and talking about his affirmations was just stuck in my head. So here we are a week later and the last episode was on last night and I thought 'now what' so I decided a blog was a good way of not only being able to vent if I needed to but also keeping the show in my mind.

Judith Lucy has a fucking lot to answer for!!

Dammit how dare this oddly mixed up funny-woman make me start thinking about spirituality and fucking life and the fucking universe - she's supposed to make me LAUGH!! And here I am now trying to do fucking YOGA at fucking half-past midnight and I fucking CAN'T!! Because I can't even breathe slowly standing still, let alone doing a fucking slow Sun Salutation... I mean where the fuck am I supposed to go with that?? You can't go much slower than fucking standing still!!! Anyway fuck that, I'm still going to get up early tomorrow and stand in my driveway like an idiot and face east and do (fucking) Sun Salutations (not sure if this calls for capitalisation but I feel like it does?) until I can't (fucking) breathe any more and then I am going to go and DO SOMETHING! What - I hear you ask - am I going to do? Fuck knows. But it's going to be SOMETHING (capitals seem to lend importance to the word in this situation don't you think? Well they do, so I don't want you to think I am yelling at you, because I'm not). So I've just checked iview and tonight's ep is up already, I think I'm going to go and find that bit with the footballer and the affirmations and write them down. Am I supposed to work out my own? Well too bad, I'm stealing his, they sounded good, and there were lots of them, and they made Judith (and him) cry a little bit, so they must be good. What's it called when you can't stop thinking (and writing stuff down) and it's like you've had 3 Red Bulls in a row, but you haven't?!? Is this mania? It feels manic. Which is a bit scary because now I don't know if this is really me or just my head. Although I must say that I feel quite emotional and I don't think mania is emotional, I think it's just manic.

So anyway, while I was lying in bed trying to sleep (and before I got up to do (fucking) yoga) I was thinking about Opa (thank you Judith) and, I think I have said this before, but I think that Opa's stories should be in a book and I think we should write it together. [There's more here but it's not relevant to this blog]

Right, so I've got all that off my chest. Sleep may still be a little way off so I am off to watch iview and make notes and maybe play a little bit of Plants vs Zombies (strangely compelling and satisfying).

Talk to you soon (and for God's sake don't worry about me, I'm fine, fucking fine).

XOXO

T

NB Today was actually the first day I did yoga in my driveway, it was great. I can face east and do Sun Salutation with the sun on my face, I did a few other things too. I know this will sound weird but I feel better already.